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gregriv69
Forums Member
Joined: 23 Oct 2006
Posts: 97
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#1 · Posted: 16 Dec 2006 01:09
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."
"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm too drunk to do that!"
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sss3d
Forums Member
Joined: 4 Feb 2007
Posts: 6
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#2 · Posted: 4 Feb 2007 02:59
Haha! That was a good joke!
I appreciate your post.
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Anna
Forums Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 37
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#3 · Posted: 20 Feb 2007 17:53
Haha! I thought I have heard every joke like this before, but this was a new one to me, and gave me a good laugh! Thanks! 
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Chaz T
Forums Member
Joined: 17 Dec 2006
Posts: 116
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#4 · Posted: 20 Feb 2007 22:37
Oh the joy of jokes! Nice one!
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funbiz
Forums Member
Joined: 2 Feb 2007
Posts: 6
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#5 · Posted: 21 Feb 2007 01:51
Here's one for you yanks ...
Stupid ... but funny things to make you stop and think!
1. Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America ... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in thedriveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America ... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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Anna
Forums Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 37
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#6 · Posted: 21 Feb 2007 22:48
Only in America... those are the best because of the truth they entail... I have heard a couple of those before but not the whole list!! Good stuff...
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roger
Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 276
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#7 · Posted: 24 Feb 2007 15:55
My daughter asked me:
"Daddy, can I have 20 bucks?"
I said:
"15 bucks? What do you need 5 bucks for?"
Roger
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Chitchatt
Forums Member
Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 5
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#8 · Posted: 24 Feb 2007 20:27
Quoting: funbiz 1. Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America ... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
11. Only in America ... We park in a driveway and drive on a Parkway.
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Anna
Forums Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 37
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#9 · Posted: 27 Feb 2007 23:10
ahhh Chitchatt... that is a very good one.
I heard this one the other day... talking about how some people just depend too much on technology..
"I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. "Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy which she handed to me with the car keys. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."
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prathamesh
Forums Member
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 2
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#10 · Posted: 23 Mar 2007 02:50
i like your joke very much.
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innominds
Forums Member
Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 52
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#11 · Posted: 23 Jul 2007 11:40
nice jokes guys!
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