Famous Quotes (Joke)

Discussion in 'Humor' started by strosdegoz, May 13, 2009.

  1. strosdegoz

    strosdegoz New Member

    If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. -Will Kommen

    I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. -Dean Martin

    I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr

    The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -Calvin Trillin

    My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. -Rita Rudner

    My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. -Wendy Liebman

    I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. -Joan Rivers

    My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. -Henny Youngman

    Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -Bob Thaves

    He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. -Ben Franklin

    I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield

    My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays. -Joey Bishop
  2. dreamwalker

    dreamwalker New Member

    Wonderful! Thanks for Sharing!
  3. getagrip

    getagrip Gold Member

    "I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me."

    ~Warren Buffett
  4. countrygirl

    countrygirl New Member

    Thanks for the laugh today![​IMG]
  5. kyrash

    kyrash New Member

    My doctor said i was mad and i said i wanted a second opinion, and he said you are ugly too. [​IMG]

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