How does this email look?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by hockeyadc, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. hockeyadc

    hockeyadc New Member

    I am working on preparing a mass email to send out to businesses and residential customers. I am working for North American Power, signing people up and helping them save on their electric. I also sign them up to become reps(which is essentially just a customer who refers people)

    I need to make sure I am including both of this information in the body of the email, but I don't want to come off too pushy or provide too much information. Of course, I don't want to provide too little information either. Here is what I am thinking:


    My name is Anthony Contino, and I am an Independent Representative for North American power. I work to help residential and commercial electric users save money on their utility bills, while also offering the chance to make money through referrals.

    The process is free, simple, and only takes a few minutes to switch your energy supplier in order to receive the reduced electric rate. You could be saving up to 20% each month from your utility bill.

    To learn more about the rates offered in your area, please visit (link to main site with rates)

    If you are also interested in learning solely about the referral opportunity, you can go straight there by visiting(link to business oriented site)

    North American Power is also a company which gives back to the community. For each customer, North American Power will donate their own money to a charity of your choice.

    Thank you. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back or give me a call at the number below.


    (Contact Information)

    How does this look?
     
  2. Just2EZ

    Just2EZ Moderator

    hockeyadc: If you are also interested in learning solely about the referral opportunity, you can go straight there by visiting(link to business oriented site)
    I think that line may scare off some potential customers.
    It might be better to keep the biz op separate from the energy savings.
    Too many people may shy away from the energy deal if they see affiliate links.
    hockeyadc: while also offering the chance to make money through referrals.
    Makes it sound like $ are coming out of the customer's pocket into yours.
    Actually a very good letter to promote the biz op but may scare off customers.

    Hopefully other posters will have more encouraging answers than mine.
     
  3. hockeyadc

    hockeyadc New Member

    Thank you, that is what I was worried about. Should I target customers for savings, or advertise the biz op? So I went with both but I think that is my problem.

    Maybe just going first for customers will be the best idea.
     
  4. talfighel

    talfighel Silver Member

    I think that it would be a better idea if you actually can get them in as customers and help them save money. Once they are "amazed" that this is happening, then you can follow up with ask them if they are open to money making opportunities or are keeping their options open.
     
  5. hockeyadc

    hockeyadc New Member

    I'm not sure what happened... but North American Power contacted me and said that they think I am about to send out a mass email and this is in violation of their policy....

    Just to be clear, I am not planning on sending out unsolicited emails to people. I realized this violates both NA powers policy AND it is illegal by the CAN-SPAM act.

    I just wanted to formulate an email that I will send out in general to people who inquire about the NA power opportunity and how to save money.....

    Did someone say something to NA power??
     
  6. A8ch

    A8ch Gold Member

    hockeyadc: Maybe just going first for customers will be the best idea.
    I believe that approach will get you much better conversions. Once your customers have experienced some savings on their own bills, they might be more receptive to the biz op. A satisfied customer can become a motivated representative.

    Hermas
     
  7. hockeyadc

    hockeyadc New Member

    Thanks for all of the help.

    Its great hearing from more experienced people who know alot more about marketing. I'm learning alot. I also learned that NA Power is like big brother and thought I was going to send out mass unsolicited emails some how....This is a very uncomfortable feeling, especially when I wasn't intending to do something like this.
     
  8. Just2EZ

    Just2EZ Moderator

    hockeyadc: NA Power is like big brother and thought I was going to send out mass unsolicited emails
    Take that as a good sign, think of big bro as keeping uncle sam away.
     

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