OLD MAN'S PHYSICAL

Discussion in 'Humor' started by 4u2nv, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. 4u2nv

    4u2nv New Member

    A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.

    The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''

    And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''

    Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.

    He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''

    And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!''
     
  2. Newbie Shield

    Newbie Shield Gold Member

    Good humor :)

    Speaking of old man jokes involving the wife and a doctor, and if this is too graphic, just delete it...

    An old man and his wife go to the doctor. The old man has to get a physical.

    The doctor examines the old man and says "Everything is fine, I just need a urine sample, a fecal sample, and a sperm sample".

    The old man is hard of hearing and says "What?".

    The doctor speaks a little louder and says "I just need a urine sample, a fecal sample, and a sperm sample". The old man says "What?".

    The frustrated wife speaks loudly into the old man's ear "Just take off your underwear and hand it to the nice doctor!"

    Newbie Shield
     
  3. southbank63

    southbank63 New Member

    4u2nv [​IMG]

    Newbie [​IMG] (not too graphic for me.. but then I am a Nurse![​IMG])
     
  4. asebf

    asebf New Member

    EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40: Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.) After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.
     

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