Working at home and relationships

Discussion in 'Casual Chat' started by Vishal P. Rao, Aug 14, 2006.

  1. Vishal P. Rao

    Vishal P. Rao Administrator Staff Member

    I just wrote an article about how relationships can get affected when both the partners work from home. You can read it at:

    Has anybody gone through the situation?
  2. piggybanker

    piggybanker New Member

    Excellent article Vishal. I'm divorced and unattached, so I can't relate. I have no social life. Maybe I should push myself away from the keyboard. Yep! That's the ticket .... I'm off for a walk. I pray when I walk. At least I'm never alone.
  3. WhitePhoenix

    WhitePhoenix New Member

    Nice article, Vishal. Your words ring very true. This situation can also be applied to couples who work in the same place. My daughter was just talking to be about it this past weekend. They have been married for 2 years and have been working for the same small company for the last 6 months - most of their days are spent in the same room.

    She remarked that because they are together all day, when they get home from work, they seem to gravitate to separate locations in their apartment; he to the T.V., she to the computer. She felt because they were together all day, they didn't necessarily want to spend MORE time together at home. She doesn't want the fizzle to fizz out of her young marriage and wanted to know how to avoid it.

    I suggested that she and her husband make a 'date' at least once every couple of weeks to just go out. No shop talk. Dinner and a movie, or dancing or whatever. And when they get home from work, try not to talk 'shop' at all.

    I don't know what other things beside what Vishal suggested in his article, but I'm sure there are visitors to this forum who either have experienced this or know of people who have. It would be nice to know how other couples get around these situations...
  4. netjobs

    netjobs Member

    In my case, I am running a cybercafe in my locality and having my PC to do this online business... and my staffs takes care of the cybercafe and before my wife is part on the business and after my child birth 5 months back, she stays at home to take care the child...

    I makeup a little plan to run the life smoothly... in the morning going to Gym to keep fit and after that taking look at the cybercafe to make things start the day.. and after that keep doing the online business... and mostly in the evening i will be in the house, playing with the child and interacting with the family members... in sundays, we plans to go out to Relative or friends houses to chit chat, parks, cinema or anywhere (oops just any only one place [​IMG])

    and I think this is my happiest part of my life currently running getting both cybercafe and online business in a boost and also my wonderful lovely child to play with... so this is the current position... nothing to predict the future.. lets see the more better things happen...

    oops... I forget to show my child's picture.. here it is...
  5. WhitePhoenix

    WhitePhoenix New Member

    Hey netjobs,

    What an adorable baby! Your schedule seems to work all right for you now - and it's a suggestion that I shall pass on. Thanks!
  6. Vishal P. Rao

    Vishal P. Rao Administrator Staff Member

  7. netjobs

    netjobs Member

  8. jhon25

    jhon25 New Member

    Vishal. It really work out. Perfect solution if it really Happen. Life become more enjoyable, and earning money is exrta . Thanks for that good article.

    I hope you will keep it up. really looking for more atricles from you.
  9. Hey Vishal,

    I think I'm going to have to re-read that article. The property owner of my wife's beauty shop is selling out from under her.

    The owner is asking way too much to buy it out, so she wants to redo the basement here and open her shop downstairs. She has always been self employed, but never worked at home.

    Trying to explain it to her is really difficult, she thinks it will be great, her in the basement me on the second floor. I have my doubts as to how well this arrangement will work.

    We shall see, wish me luck. [​IMG]

  10. ginginca

    ginginca New Member

    My hubbie and I have both been working at home since 1995 or 96, and our daughter came along in 2000.

    I can really relate to that article.

    I joined a gym last summer and then he joined in Feb '06.

    It seems that the only thing left that we don't do together is that he competes in a pool league 2X a week.

    Fortunately I have no love for the game.

    Last year I moved my office into the basement. Now much of our communication is via email and telephone.
  11. A8ch

    A8ch Gold Member

    Very interesting article Vishal, and great advice.

    I agree that change is a basic human want. The novelty of the new car, house or business achievement inevitably wears off and is replaced with the urge to experience something faster, bigger, better or more challenging.

    Perhaps it's our inborn quest for discovery and perfection that propels us towards the next level in our pursuits.

    In my opinion, spouses (who both work from home or not) ought to recognize and respect that they are individuals first, and being married does not require them to subordinate their identities and differences to the other. Instead they should embrace and encourage their uniqueness.

    So if John Smith enjoys bike riding and Jane Smith would rather go bowling, each should have the freedom to indulge in his or her pastime without the other. It helps them to develop their sense of self, which in turn contributes to a healthy relationship anyway.

  12. A8ch

    A8ch Gold Member

    Hi Joe,

    Good luck! [​IMG]

    Seriously though, we all know that change is an inevitable part of life, but it is making and accepting the necesary adjustments that can be difficult. You and your wife will have to establish new rules that make sense to you both, then stick to them. One thing can be sure: you'll both learn new things about yourselves.

    Here's an insightful story:

    Many years ago when I did in-home sales, I called on a family to make a presentation. The nature of my business required that both spouses be available.

    The lady of the house, a mother of two small children, welcomed me inside. As we sat around having casual conversation, I asked if her husband was at home. She replied that he was upstairs in his office.

    I then said to her, "Great! We'll get started as soon as you get him to join us."

    She replied, "You don't understand, he's working."

    She could easily have called upstairs for him to come down, but they had an understanding -- during working hours he was not to be disturbed -- and she had no problem honoring that arrangement. I admired and respected them for that, and reset the appointment for when he was off work.

    If you and your wife can craft a working arrangement that accomodates both of you, it might turn out to be more fun than you think.

    Still, I wish you all he best! [​IMG]

  13. Hey Hermas,

    Thanks, I think you're right about the ground rules. I guess we should start early as she probably won't actually make the move until October.

    It's not really that long since we'll have contractors redoing her new "work area". She's already asking what I think on different ideas and designs. I tell her it's her business, she is the one who has to decide what she wants.

    I do give her ideas if she asks for them, but leave the final decision up to her.

    I think I'm going to start posting about the whole transition and progress on my blog. As much for therapy for me as for my readers. [​IMG]

  14. gregriv69

    gregriv69 New Member

    Great article no doubt. I can only say that moms should give first priority to their children and then work. Moms should not do full time jobs.
  15. Somnambulist

    Somnambulist New Member

    I have been working from home for 8 years and I get very little respect from family. They continue to act as if I don't actually work! They also call constantly, do not ask if I am busy, and so on. They drop by unannounced and the whole nine yards. The other day I had a conversation with my mother and she proceeded to tell me that I had "never gone out to work," like she had. It was a "who is the bigger victim" game she plays a lot for pity, but I just say "you chose to work outside the home, and I choose to work inside the home."

    At one point I was making far more than her highest wage -- yes, working from HOME. But still there is a sense that if you're working on a computer from your house, it's ok to interrupt you and it's ok to be noisy, and you're expected to stop what you're doing (because it's not THAT important, right?) and help them. There is a lack of respect for this whole method of working. I think some people are just jealous because everyone asks me what I do and how I got my job and can I refer them?

    My cable was down once and I called the company and told them I worked from home so I needed the line to be fixed immediately if possible. The rep started questioning me about the nature of my work, how I got my job, how much money I make and more. Wasting my time when I was due to start work in a precious few minutes and could not call my boss to tell them the problem when he was grilling me about my lifestyle!

  16. Vishal P. Rao

    Vishal P. Rao Administrator Staff Member

    I second your views Somn Ambulist (I'm not sure if that's your real name but forgive me if I'm wrong as you have that as your real name in your profile).

    When I started working from home, my parents always tried to coerce me into renting an office. According to them, working from home doesn't command as much respect as some one who has his own office (whether he is earning a penny or not). I don't blame them as such is the mindset of majority of the people. People are often cynical as to whether i actually earn anything or live on my parent's inheritance [​IMG]
  17. supernova

    supernova New Member

    Wow - it really makes you worry, doesn't it? The last thing I need is for my love life to die out (I don't have one at the moment[​IMG] [​IMG] ), however I can't imagine how much longer I'd last without someone in my life.
  18. homeofficewiz

    homeofficewiz New Member


    My Girlfriend and I have recently started our online business and we still have our day time job at the moment things are still cool and we love working together. I don't agree with the fact one should sork from home and the other should have a day job. The whole idea is for us to be together and to spend more time together.

    Maybe I don't understand it know coz I have not experienced it yet.
  19. Vishal P. Rao

    Vishal P. Rao Administrator Staff Member

    Quoting: homeofficewizMaybe I don't understand it know coz I have not experienced it yet.

    You are right. When you both are just starting, everything looks rosy and just like what you had dreamt about. It's only when the initial attraction starts fading away and adjustments, sacrifices are more required, then the reality creeps in. It does not happen everytime, but most of the time [​IMG]
  20. fixaprob

    fixaprob New Member

    Nice article....Thanks for the sharing...This situation can also be applied to couples who work in the same place. My daughter was just talking to be about it this past weekend.

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