I want to do more than just 'fire' my sponsor! Help?

Discussion in 'Productivity and Motivation' started by Itsjustbecca, May 3, 2015.

  1. Itsjustbecca

    Itsjustbecca New Member

    I love the company I am in! I have been with them for a year now but it does not feel like it. So my upline sucks (im now finding out almost everyone's does)..they are all cliquey and on a power trip, wanting to be at the top and only care about money. And of course I have a different style of connecting with people and doing things, I stick to what rules I know while they bend them because they know how the company works.. (yes I am shy), heck I care more about helping people than I do the money...they have been bossy with telling me how to run my business (when in fact the only person who can control that is me) and my sponsor has gone so far as talking to my customers (that took me a whole year to get after learning how to share the product information with people) and people who were going to sign up under me about joining the company and possibly being one of her customers instead of mine, all of that is against company policy!

    I called her on the phone and confronted her about this, she ends up putting me on BLAST and shows a side of herself that is just ugly, she even went so far as so say " that is so disrespectful and shady, i have done nothing but try to help you, i don't even know if i want you on my team now!"...She made me really uncomfortable..i know now that that side is her true colors, because she has not done a damn thing to help me, she is flakey, she twists things and words around, she does not listen to people for crap, she tells me to go educate myself on group pages or videos because she is too busy to help me. We have not spoken in over a week now. I know it could be worse. And to be honest, I don't care about my upline's success, I only care about my own and those who are in my downline. I think my sponsor only cares about those who are just as power hungry as she.

    I would also like to point out that people in the company are not rushed to make it to a certain level in a certain amount of time, everyone has the freedom to move at their own pace and run their business their way. Now since I have been with my sponsor for a year I cannot change sponsors unless I want to leave the company for 6 months-1 year and sign up under someone else, and im not really wanting to do that because my sponsor is a natural talker and I don't want her to get my customers and steal my potential customers....but also, I do not want to stay her level 1 downline and be successful and have her make money off of me because she does not deserve it (I know that sounds awful)..so what should I do in my situation? Should I stay under my sponsor but 'fire' her and distance myself from her and the rest of the team and find new people to work with, or should I just take a break altogether and sign up at a later date under someone new?
    YAGOOFT likes this.
  2. BillF2

    BillF2 New Member

    Hi Itsjustbecca,

    I am so sorry to hear your frustration. Clearly there's a great deal of lack of communication with your sponsors as well as several other issues at play here. However, I really want to encourage you to take heart. There's so much I would like to share with you that I believe would help but do to time and room to reply, I'll do my best to share what I believe will help immediately.

    First, I admire the fact that you realize this is "your" business. Of course the business model in network marketing is all about helping other succeed but at the end of the day, we must hold ourselves accountable for the results.

    Secondly, forgive your upline and everyone else you may have offended you in any way. You may be wondering what forgiveness has to do with anything here. Please trust me. It has everything to do with you and your success. You're angry and upset. I can appreciate that. I really do. However, the very last thing you want to do is to allow yourself to remain negative towards them. In the end, YOU will pay for it - not them. Negativity breeds negativity.

    I admire your passion to help people. It's genuine and comes clear in your message. I wouldn't advise that you quit and join later. Others may disagree with me here and that's ok. However, quitting only re-join isn't the solution. you have everything inside of you right now to succeed in your business. Against all "seemingly" odds, You can succeed because "success" is an "inside job".

    Respectfully, there are a number of issues going on with your situation that aren't the "main" issue and in my opinion it's causing you to become distracted from your business. Ask for help. Don't stop until you get it. Go beyond you upline support if need be. However, do this respectfully. Being critical of anyone at anytime doesn't justify our situation. It actually hurts our entire industry and us personally.

    It appears that you're dealing with a degree of fear. You mentioned that you were shy. Please don't allow fear to rule you. You're bigger than F.E.A.R. (False-Evidence-Appearing-Real)!

    I can only hope I've shared something here will make things better for you. I did my best to share from a place of caring and concern. I wish you all the success and happiness in the world. :)

    Love God. Loye yourself. Love people.

    Bill -
    YAGOOFT and Just2EZ like this.
  3. William West

    William West New Member

    Hiya Itsjustbecca,

    I want to start off by saying that I really understand where you are coming from. I hate to hear that you have to go through that type of abandonment with your sponsor. I've had that same thing happen to me. It's not a good feeling to have especially when you are new and don't know too much about the company and what exactly your progression will be.

    My sponsor thought he knew everything. We would have meetings where people would give suggestions about how to better run and manage their business. He would nod his head as if it was a go but later say that our suggestions wouldn't work. His approach was the only one that was going to make us successful.

    To make a long story short, as time went on, we really saw the true side of him. From his personal life to his business life, he stayed consistent. Stealing your downlines' customer is one thing. Blasting all types of negative comments and rejections is another.

    My advice to you is, don't worry about being shy. Shyness won't keep you from success. Not believing in yourself will. I'm somewhat shy myself but I know that if I don't do what I have to in order to keep my business going, I'll fail. And that's not an option. I know it's not an option for you either.

    Keep your head up and don't let anyone break up your path to success. And I mean NO ONE! Just like Bill said, you have to forgive and move on. Don't let people put you in a state of uncertainty. When you forgive, you forget. You've done your part. They are the ones that have to deal with the repercussions. Stay focused, determined, motivated and charged and I guarantee that you will see a difference in the way you handle situations of that nature.

    I wish you success and all the happiness. I know you're a winner. It's time to win!

    payment proof likes this.
  4. Itsjustbecca

    Itsjustbecca New Member

    Thank you for your words Bill. I can forgive them for not helping me. However I am in the process of properly distancing myself from them, and hopefully (if possible) finding another team to work under without any backlash coming my way. I will do my best not to burn any bridges!

    The reason for this is because a week ago, my sponsor verbally accused me, saying I don't want to be part of her team because I never ask for help (a BS excuse) and im not on the same level/rank as she, and she even went so far as to attack me by saying "if you don't want to be part of my team you let me know right NOW and I will tell everyone on our team about it and I will have you gone"....I did not respond to that, I reported it to the only upline member that I know of (because the others quit). And the upline person said that she is 'sorry im going through that and I don't know what to do either because my sponsor just quit, but I will try to find someone for you to contact." Ugh...also, because I don't do some of the things they do to work the business, they accuse me of not caring about the company.

    Because I don't personally know most of the team, they seem unapproachable, and they are all tight knit with each other. I do not forsee anything good by staying with this particular team. I feel like the black sheep here. Im just going through some unnecessary drama and stress right now that I don't need. But I am working to get the situation taken care of.

    Yes I am dealing with Fear (I love that representation of fear you added, :) ) I am shy, it's like I am being pushed outside my comfort zone on their time not mine. There is also a fear of being attacked by them, I mean they can say anything because they are "up there". But I just KNOW I have it in me to succeed, I can go far and represent this company in a positive light. I just need to get with the right people first.
    payment proof likes this.
  5. Itsjustbecca

    Itsjustbecca New Member

    Thank you too William! Yes I don't like how I was just left to figure it out on my own when I have no idea what I am getting into myself. In time I think my shyness will go away, I just need to stay confident and remember each 'no' brings me closer to someone who will say 'yes'. Like I was telling Bill, I am trying to find a new team to work under. My sponsor has done some things that make me uncomfortable and raise a few red flags to me, and that is not a person I want to do business with. I can let it go that they are not there for me, but what I can't let go of is my sponsor putting me on blast and trying to control my customer. That is unprofessional behavior, and she comes across as fake to me. I will keep doing my best with the company as I wait instructions on what to do from the upline person. Thank you again for your comment.
  6. Russell Toews

    Russell Toews Member

    If you quit then she automatically wins because she gets the fruits of all your efforts with you receiving nothing.

    At first when you said "I love the company I am in", I thought I knew which program because I really love mine too. And clues such as there being a supportive forum further made me think I knew. But then you said something about her actually speaking with your customers and I knew I was wrong because her doing so would be impossible in the one I'm in.

    So now I'm fairly certain of my best response to your problem.

    Don't quit because she wins but don't be as active as she want or as you were and start putting some eggs in another basket. There are other programs that probably as good or even MUCH better to be involved in.

    YAGOOFT Active Member

    Sorry Becca, I know how you feel, and this is one of the down sides to this industry, once you register under a sponsor, you are mandated to stay there, and it can impact your performance if you let it, so take it from me and others here, try to put this out of your mind. I know how you feel, your efforts are earning her commissions and she is unworthy of your efforts, but you have to get this out of the picture or it will hinder your success. Been there, done that, find someone in her upline for support if needed, there will always be someone who is like minded and understands your issues with sponsor. This is why I spend more time learning about my sponsore than company in many cases not wanting to have any negative type persons to deal with.

    Success to all,
    payment proof likes this.
  8. Itsjustbecca

    Itsjustbecca New Member

    Thank you for your response, what do you mean by this? I ended up completely leaving the company because she showed her @zz again and I refuse to work with someone who is unprofessional and not put together. I just could not take the negative vibes anymore, my time is precious and so is my energy, I hate to say it but it does matter to me who benefits from me and I could not take someone like that 'owning' a piece of me every time I got a check (meaning she got paid a certain % based on how much my check was) because she does NOT deserve it. Im just temporarily taking a break and I might rejoin in 6 months if I find better people I can trust to work with in this company, or I might try and see if I can secretly rejoin hehe. The healthy thing for me to do is to distance myself from her. Again, thank you for responding to my message! :)
  9. Itsjustbecca

    Itsjustbecca New Member

    Russell, actually she does not win because I never made much money. I just could not stand a person like that owning a piece of me like that when she does not deserve it. I was just income to her, she did not care about my success or failure :/ I figured its best I distance myself from her and the company for a while, so I decided to quit. But I plan on rejoining at a later date....well I might, but NOT under HER. I will come back stronger than before!

    I have a question....Ok, so the company I was in requires ambassadors to wait 6 months to rejoin with the company (under someone new) if they wish to, but it only takes 1 month for my account and info to be fully deleted....so should I wait the full 6 months or sign up a month or 2 after my account/membership is deleted? Thank you so much for your reply, it has helped me a lot.
  10. Itsjustbecca

    Itsjustbecca New Member

    You hit the nail right on the head! Trust me I got rid of my sponsor and I am no longer with the company, I just need a break from all the stress. In the future I will take your advice and thoroughly research who I do business with! I will not settle! I believe this was a lesson I had to learn, but whenever I rejoin (under someone new) I will come back strong :)
  11. jeffreysloe

    jeffreysloe Member

    We can learn something from every life experience, and this is no exception. It sounds like you still have a great attitude, which is great to hear.
  12. phans

    phans New Member

    Sorry to hear that, I'd been there before! Don't quit just keep learning or the lesson will be repeated.

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