I am a introvert by nature. Being the one to start a conversation is not easy for me; in fact it goes beyond that to down right difficult. This is an area I am actively trying to change and have made significant progress using some of the tips outlined here. 1. Exude confidence. When you are comfortable in your own skin, you make others comfortable. Confidence is attractive; it acts like a magnet, drawing others to you. If you take the attitude that you bring something to the table, you will see that attitude reflected in others. Enthusiasm is infectious! 2. Show up with something to say. Always be on the lookout for topics and material. Keep up with the news, read business magazines, etc. looking for interesting and timely information that can be shared at the next get together. Perhaps even keep a file to review before the next event. 3. Begin with a question. One simple question can start a conversation. Have a few on hand and ask something a bit unusual to set you apart and make you memorable. i.e. “How do you enjoy spending your weekends?” Admire something and ask an open ended question in conjunction. i.e. “What a great buffet! What is your favorite dish?” 4. Find common ground. Build rapport by finding something you have in common and building on it. Find something to appreciate and be genuine in your appreciation. 5. Focus on others. Put you energy and interest in the other person. People love to talk about themselves. Continue to keep the conversation going back and forth by refocusing on them. 6. Be inclusive. Make eye contact with everyone in the group, not just the person who directly asked you a question. 7. Keep body language open and receptive. Nod in agreement, make significant and genuine eye contact, lean toward the other person, and even touch them on the arm if you are a touchy-feely kind of person. Do keep a reasonable bubble of personal space with strangers however. 8. Stay engaged in the conversation. Stay focused on them and do not allow your attention to wander to other areas of the room, either mentally or physically. Give acknowledgement cues such as “wow”, “cool”, or “that’s awesome”, etc. It let’s them know you are engaged. Keep your eyes on them. When your eyes wander off beyond their shoulder, the person you are talking to knows they are no longer the center of your attention. 9. Close a conversation with class and kindness. When a conversation naturally lulls, take advantage and say, “It’s been a pleasure talking to you. I hope our paths cross again sometime.” and get their contact information if applicable. Words are important. They can teach, inform, reprimand, coerce, and encourage. Words can change people’s lives. Effective communication plays a critical role in every person’s life – helping us be better friends, parents, business partners, employees, and better people. The ability to hold a natural conversation is one of the keys to success, not only in the business world, but in life. Knowing when to initiate a discussion, keeping it interesting by asking effective questions, sharing your own stories, and ending the conversation tactfully and effectively is an art. When you take the time to acquire and hone good communication skills you open yourself up to better relationships, more career opportunities, and increased self-confidence. Moreover, you reach higher levels of mutual understanding and cooperation while successfully attaining your goals.
So true! Words can also help people develop or strengthen particular personality traits or abilities, through the use of written affirmations. So, for example, if a person wanted to overcome the fear of speaking before a group, a simple affirmation could be: "I am an excellent speaker because I am always well prepared with my material, completely at ease before any group, and I enjoy sharing my knowledge with others." To magnetize that affirmation and hasten its outcome, 3 steps are necessary: Write it down. This gives the idea a physical form. Read it out loud (or at least mouth the words). This adds another layer and the power of the spoken word. Visualize yourself confidently speaking in front of a large group. This helps you to 'see' and 'feel' yourself already in the desired state. - Try to engage ALL your senses in the visualization. - Notice how attentive and interested people are in your speech. - Hear the loud and sustained applause you get when you are done. - Enjoy the happiness and satisfaction this evokes. You can even practice giving a speech in front of a mirror to simulate the real activity. If you were to repeat those steps at least twice a day, you'll be astonished at... how quickly your confidence will grow. how accepting you'll become of the idea that you are indeed an excellent speaker. how many opportunities to speak in front of groups will start popping up. And before you know it, you'll become that person you wrote about in the affirmation. Hermas
I agree with everything in the list and think #3 is so important: 3. Begin with a question. Ask people about themselves, their interests, their life. Show you care about who they are and what matters to them. Just don't ask anything overly personal right at the beginning such as things about sex, religion, or politics lol. Love the post Vanessa!
Great thread Vanessa. I like #2. Show up with something to say. One thing that has helped me a lot with this is listening to radio shows in the morning, especially the ones where listeners call in to give their opinions. If I notice that a certain topic does really well at getting listeners engaged, I make a note of it and use it to start a conversation at a social event. For me once I break the ice and start a good conversation, I can then apply the other 8 tips with ease.
